19 March, 2018

Living under the Thumb

Little no-nos that can get you a conduct violation and disciplinary sanctions here at Crossroads Correctional Center:
  • Leaving your hat or sunglasses on when you enter the chow hall
  • Repurposing a brown paper bag from the canteen as a trash or storage receptacle
  • Showing a tablemate at the library something in a book you're reading
  • Having more than twenty-five loose photos
  • Bringing a packet of sugar back to your cell after breakfast
  • Sewing pockets into your personal clothes
  • Failing to report a bruise, scrape, or cut, even if you don't know how you got it or that it's there at all
  • Exiting your cell without turning off your TV, radio, lamp, et cetera
  • Borrowing a CD
  • Being too close to someone else's cell door
  • Drawing a map, any map, even if it's a map of Middle Earth
  • Sleeping too deeply to hear the announcement of a custody count
  • Keeping a rag in your cell
  • Keeping any cleaning solutions in your cell
  • Not keeping your cell clean
  • Draping a cord or wire across your cell
  • Holding on to medication issued to you more than a month ago
  • Doing anything crafty or creative with stuff you've got lying around
  • Using the toilet when a guard walks past your cell, even if the guard didn't announce his or her presence in the wing
  • Forgetting to sign out after using a typewriter or law-library computer
  • Setting anything on your window ledge
  • Covering your shadeless lamp to block the glare of a bare forty-watt CFL bulb

  • Standing too close to the front of the wing when you're not on the phone, using the touch-screen canteen kiosk or one of the clothes dryers, or looking at the bulletin board
  • Placing anything under your cell door to dampen the shouting and noise of the wing
  • Tearing a page from a magazine, whether it's yours or not
  • Hanging a picture a few inches too far to the left, or the right, on your cell wall
  • Not letting a door close behind you
  • Leaving your ID in the pocket of your other pants
  • Keeping a bottle, box, tub, or bag after the foodstuff originally packaged in it is gone
  • Having a hole in your bed sheet
  • Loaning someone your pen for a moment
  • Arriving more than fifteen minutes late for a medical appointment
  • Wearing headphones in the wing
  • Amassing more than two bars of soap
  • Picking up basically anything you find on the yard
  • Hanging wet clothes to dry
  • Sitting on the stairs
  • Exercising in the wing
  • Letting more than six magazines stack up in your cell
  • Drinking too much before a guard comes to give you a random surprise drug test
  • Pulling your shirt over your nose to filter a bad smell
  • Walking too quickly
  • Walking too slowly
Sometimes the fact that I've only gotten three conduct violations in sixteen years (all of them minor) astounds even me.

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