07 September, 2012

A Poem I Didn’t Write but Wish I Had

Science Fiction
By Les Murray

I can travel
faster than light
so can you
the speed of thought
the only trouble
is at destinations
our thought balloons
are coated invisible
no one there sees us
and we can’t get out
to be real or present
phone and videophone
are almost worse
we don’t see a journey
but stay in our space
just talking and joking
with those we reach
but can never touch
the nothing that can hurt us
how lovely and terrible
and lonely is this

* * * * *

This poem is one of the 150 or so that I keep filed away in a folder of my favorites. Every week or so, when I return for one reason or another to the folder, I never fail to reread “Science Fiction” — it resonates with me that much. Its message about the singularity inherent to human existence, particularly in our wired Western culture, is one thing, but these lines of Murray’s have another layer of meaning for me, which comes with the limited meaningful contact I have with the world outside these prison walls. I know more, perhaps, than Murray intended to convey about “how lovely and terrible / and lonely” it is to literally stay in my space while reaching out. I try to express this as succinctly in some of my own poetry. Whether or not I succeed isn’t this post’s subject, though. I just want to share with you what I think is a very good poem.

19 August, 2012

Things I Write When I Should Be Writing Something

In late June I began writing a science fiction novel. Sort of. “Writing,” in the sense I mean it here, translates to “outlining and amassing copious notes for.” To claim that the work I’ve put into the project thus far has involved much actual writing — that is, the construction or arrangement of sentences that might end up in even the roughest of manuscript drafts — would basically be lying. I’ve written one sentence. Mind you, I think it’s quite a qood sentence, meeting all the criteria prescribed by so-called experts for a quality opening sentence for any narrative: inviting inquiry, stating something integral to the plot without giving anything away, providing characterization for the protagonist, sounding good…. So I have been working on my novel, completing steps that are part and parcel of the writing process. My attentions are simply elsewhere.

For my reading, these past four months, I’ve chosen exclusively sci-fi and fantasy books. “Priming the pump,” is how I described it in my latest posted reading list. The tactic worked too well, though. Yes, reading all that speculative fiction caused my ideas for the novel to flourish, but ideas for other projects did, too. The story collections I’ve been enjoying so much unintentionally focused my mind on the short form, so even though I have all these notes and printed encyclopedic articles relevant to my novel, and am intellectually prepared to bend to that work, short stories have seized my exclusive interest. It’s frustrating. And incredibly fun.

My short-fiction jag began when I went back to revise a somewhat surreal 2,000-word story — “Remembrance” — about artificial intelligence and grief, which I wrote nearly two years ago. The editorial feedback from the magazines I sent it to, in the only round of submissions I sent the story on, was encouraging. For unremembered reasons, I never got around to making the suggested changes — foolish of me, no matter what my excuse was. Now, having finally (I hope) repaired what in the first version was broken, I’ve sent the manuscript back to one of the original commentators. Maybe “Remembrance” will make the cut now. I’m pleased with the changes I’ve made to it, particularly the 500-word increase in length and the removal of some ambiguity I’d initially mistaken for compelling mystery. This manuscript has been out for several months, which I can barely resist thinking means it’s being seriously considered for publication.

Motivated by how good I believe “Remembrance” turned out, I spent a week writing an atmospheric 4,000-word story titled “Dragons” — a fireside tale of off-world colonization gone genocidally wrong. It’s pretty grim. To balance out that gritty creation, I tried my hand at writing a humorous piece of flash fiction. The result of that is a trifle of urban fantasy I call “Doorbell, Book, and Candle.” Preliminary reports are that it’s a fun read, so I consider it a success. But will these two pieces meet editors’ approval?

The work receiving most of my attention for the previous weeks represents yet another leap of imagination: a satirical 11,000-word work in progress involving a young autistic man, the zombie apocalypse, and one very late grocery delivery. I feel hobbled when the time comes to title my stories, and the struggle to name this one is almost as protracted as anything in its plot. I don’t know if this should worry me or not. Thus far, I’m pleased with the story, even though it’s longer than it will probably need to be for publication. People who give writers advice about such things say it’s best to just tell the story that’s begging to be told, and worry about submission guidelines later. That’s exactly what I’m doing, and my unnamed adventure through the world of the undead is proving very fun to write, as a result.

Will I get back to my novel soon? Absolutely. But it’s been so long since I’ve been this prolific with fiction of any length, so I’m allowing my muse to run her course, whatever crazy route she chooses to take.

08 August, 2012

Those Noisy Aleve Commercials Are Killing Me

Arthritis sufferers deserve relief — I’m not disputing that. I only wish my daily Jeopardy! viewing didn’t subject me to the amplified slurping and swallowing made by the purportedly arthritic as they ingest their palliatives.

For those of you not in the know, no, I don’t watch this, one of my favorite things on TV, with a group of geriatrics. What I’m referring to are Jeopardy!’s commercial breaks, which are frequently sullied by the show’s principal sponsor, Aleve. The Aleve ads feature enhanced audio of pills being shaken out of an easy-open bottle, then taken with a super-loud gulp of coffee. Twice within thirty seconds. It’s too much. These awful adverts make it very hard to get back into a quiz-show mindset. Sometimes they even make me forget my score.

I am not a marketing genius. I am not even a marketing idiot. (I am not in marketing.) But I think a more positive association might have been made by starting the Aleve ads with the sound of creaky knees ascending stairs, then pills dispensing, then the nice silence of knees experiencing whatever is the opposite of inflammation (unflammation?) to illustrate that the pill stops a problem. As they are, Aleve’s commercials are memorable only for being disgusting.

Is there any noise the ad execs could have agreed on that would have been even less appealing than beverage slurping? At least Aleve isn’t foodstuff, or they might have used chewing noises. There is already too much of that on TV. Those Kit-Kat ads, with that percussive crunching, snapping, tapping, and whatnot — you know the ones — are abominations I don’t watch enough television to have gritted my teeth through more than once. Thank goodness. What I’m curious to know, however, is whether I am the only person in North America who is driven to near-mortal terror by the gloopy noises of mastication and imbibement Aleve sees fit to air. If not, why were my sensitive-eared brethren and sistren not invited to participate in the focus group before these nauseating spectacles left studio hands? Someone should be called to account. As punishment, I suggest muzzling.